Hello!
After studying empathy and emotions for four decades, I’ve developed a very simple and accurate way to tell if you’re an empath.
Are you ready to find out?
Karla McLaren’s Amazingly Accurate Quiz for Empaths
Question 1: Are you breathing? Yes/No (choose one)
Yes? You’re an empath.
No? Take a breath and start over at Question 1. (spoiler alert)
Congratulations! You’re an empath!
That’s a joke, and yet I’m also being serious. Empathy isn’t a magical skill that only special people possess. Empathy is a central feature of human intelligence and communication.
Empathy is the social and emotional glue that helps us understand each other. It’s a skill and a trait that we all possess to varying degrees – and it’s a trait that’s shared by many of our animal friends as well.
In The Art of Empathy, I define empathy in this way:
Empathy is a social and emotional skill that helps us feel and understand the emotions, circumstances, intentions, thoughts, and needs of others, such that we can offer sensitive, perceptive, and appropriate communication and support.
We’re all empathic; we have to be in order to navigate our way through the social world. We all read emotions, intentions, nuance, and so forth – because empathy is a part of our capacity to connect to, interact with, and understand others and social situations.
We all have empathic skills, and we’re all empaths to varying degrees. Some of us miss social cues or misidentify emotions, and some of us are so hyper-empathic that we can feel overwhelmed by the emotions and situations of others, but we’re all empaths.
There’s a longer quiz at the bottom of this page, but we’ve gotten the most important part out of the way: Yes, you’re an empath.
What is an empath? And what’s a hyper-empath?
An empath is someone who is aware that he or she reads emotions, nuance, subtext, undercurrent, intentions, thoughts, social space, interactions, relational behaviors, body language, and gestural language. A hyper-empath is someone who reads these things to a greater degree than is deemed normal.
For me as a lifelong hyper-empath, emotions, nuance, subtext, and so forth are the things I notice first in any situation. Words are interesting, but in many cases, they tend to hide and obscure the more subtle aspects of communication and social interaction.
For me, there’s a wonderfully surprising world that exists in the space between words, and it’s the space where my attention is nearly always drawn. But that’s not true for everyone; each of us has our own relationship with our empathic abilities.
There’s also Einfühlung, or your capacity to use your empathic abilities on not just humans, but on animals, art, music, mathematics, dance, movement, nature, systems, ideas, and so forth. Empathy is a skill that can be used in many ways, and the good news is that you can develop (or calm down) your empathic skills at any point in your life.
Introducing the real empathy quiz
I created this quiz to help you assess your current level of empathic abilities — but don’t treat it as the final word!
Your empathic abilities can and do change, and if you observe yourself, you’ll see that your empathy levels can change from day to day, or even in the middle of a single conversation! This quiz is just a snapshot of your current situation; your empathic abilities are malleable, and no matter where you start, you can become more comfortable and skilled with your empathy.
As you’ll learn, there’s a sweet spot with empathic skills – a juuuust right place where your empathy is neither too cold nor too hot. As you answer each of the 41 questions in this quiz, from Less True to More True, remember that you can modify your empathy if it’s not working for you (or for others). Empathy is a pliable skill.
How Empathic Are You?
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The 41 questions in this quiz will help you identify your current level of empathic ability. Remember that your score is a snapshot of this current moment; you can change, increase, or calm down your empathic abilities at any point in your life.
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1 to 60 points: With this score, you may be somewhat low in empathic ability at this moment; however the reasons for this are different for each person.
This score may mean that you’re relatively uninterested in or unaware of the emotions and situations of others – but sometimes, a low score can mean that you’re actually hyper-empathic but currently unable to organize your sensitivities and your concern for others in a way that works for you. In hyper-empathy, you may experience overwhelm in the presence of emotions or interactions, and you may shut down as a protective response.
In either case, if you’re insensitive to emotions and interactions, you can become more aware of and skillful with them at any stage in your life – and if you’re overwhelmed by emotions and interactions, you can organize and address your sensitivities (again, at any stage in your life) so that you can live more comfortably in the social world. The Art of Empathy will help you bring balance to your life so that your empathy will be accessible, healthy, and understandable for you.
If you have any questions about specific emotions or about the Six Essential Aspects of Empathy, you’ll find a great deal of information on the Start Here page, or you can ask your questions in the comments section below.
Thank you for bringing your empathy and your emotional awareness to a waiting world.
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61 to 98 points: This score may place you in what I call the “just right empathic sweet spot” – where your empathic abilities are neither too cold nor too hot.
However, there may be areas where you need some support in increasing or decreasing your specific sensitivities. The Art of Empathy will support you in making this sweet spot comfortable so that you can be a healthy, happy, and intentional empathic presence in a world that needs you!
If you have any questions about specific emotions or about the Six Essential Aspects of Empathy, you’ll find a great deal of information on the Start Here page, or you can ask your questions in the comments section below.
Thank you for bringing your empathy and your emotional awareness to a waiting world.
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99 to 123 points: Your score places you in the high empathy category, which can lead you into hyper-empathy if you haven’t yet learned to create effective boundaries, work gracefully with emotions, and utilize self-regulation skills when you’re overwhelmed.
As it is with any talent or tendency, high levels of ability can be a double-edged sword; it can be very easy for you to empathize; however, because you didn’t really have to learn how to do it, the steps involved in healthy empathizing may be hidden from you. The Art of Empathy explores each of the interconnected aspects of empathy so that you’ll have the tools you need to understand and manage your empathic abilities.
If you have any questions about specific emotions or about the Six Essential Aspects of Empathy, you’ll find a great deal of information on the Start Here page, or you can ask your questions in the comments section below.
Thank you for bringing your empathy and your emotional awareness to a waiting world.
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Question 1 of 41
1. Question
1) I tend to know how others are feeling, even (or especially if) they are trying to hide it.
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Question 2 of 41
2. Question
2) I tend to avoid conflict because I don’t want to hurt others or make them feel embarrassed.
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Question 3 of 41
3. Question
3) People (and animals) and their relationships and interactions are endlessly interesting to me.
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Question 4 of 41
4. Question
4) I do not need to see people’s (or animal’s) faces to read their emotions.
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Question 5 of 41
5. Question
5) I am drawn to situations of injustice, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to alleviate suffering.
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Question 6 of 41
6. Question
6) I often mimic the mannerisms, accents, and body language of others without meaning to.
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Question 7 of 41
7. Question
7) I tend to think about interpersonal issues by imagining myself in the place of those involved.
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Question 8 of 41
8. Question
8) I have a very easy time reading between the lines, under the surface, and behind the obvious.
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Question 9 of 41
9. Question
9) I feel beauty palpably; beauty creates a sense of delight and expansiveness in my body.
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Question 10 of 41
10. Question
10) Interpersonal conflict — even when it does not involve me personally — often feels physically painful to me.
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Question 11 of 41
11. Question
11) I do not like black-and-white polarization; the truth usually resides somewhere in the middle.
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Question 12 of 41
12. Question
12) When I make a social blunder, I feel extremely disturbed, and I work hard to make things right again.
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Question 13 of 41
13. Question
13) I feel the emotions of others viscerally — as if the emotions belong to me.
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Question 14 of 41
14. Question
14) I can sense and identify multiple simultaneous emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos or groups.
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Question 15 of 41
15. Question
15) I can sense and identify the relative intensity of multiple emotions in myself, in others, and in interactions between duos or groups.
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Question 16 of 41
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16) I consider the needs and feelings of others in decisions I make, often to the point of ignoring my own needs and feelings.
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Question 17 of 41
17. Question
17) I love to observe interactions, especially when the people or animals are unaware of me.
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Question 18 of 41
18. Question
18) I enjoy drama, movies, good television shows, and well-told stories.
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Question 19 of 41
19. Question
19) I love good literature, well-written characters, and well-paced stories.
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Question 20 of 41
20. Question
20) I love to play with and interact lovingly with people and animals.
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Question 21 of 41
21. Question
21) I have an easy, natural ability in one or more art forms.
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Question 22 of 41
22. Question
22) I have a good, and often silly, sense of humor.
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Question 23 of 41
23. Question
23) I am good with shy people and/or shy animals.
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Question 24 of 41
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24) I am good with children and/or young animals.
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Question 25 of 41
25. Question
25) I can get blissfully lost for hours in my special interests.
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Question 26 of 41
26. Question
26) In an emergency, I can focus on what’s important and provide assistance.
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Question 27 of 41
27. Question
27) I often feel tender, protective feelings toward others — even complete strangers.
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Question 28 of 41
28. Question
28) Art, music, and literature touch me very deeply.
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Question 29 of 41
29. Question
29) I am very sensitive to foods and tend to respond markedly to dietary changes.
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Question 30 of 41
30. Question
30) I have an intense capacity to focus on activities that delight and engage me.
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Question 31 of 41
31. Question
31) When I’m in conflict with others, I tend to talk deeply about it with third parties so that I can sort out the many issues that have led to the conflict.
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Question 32 of 41
32. Question
32) I love to talk about and think about interpersonal issues and social structures.
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Question 33 of 41
33. Question
33) I have a rich interior life and I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and ideas.
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Question 34 of 41
34. Question
34) I often need to get away from the needs of others and recharge my emotional batteries.
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Question 35 of 41
35. Question
35) I am deeply sensitive to things like sounds, colors, textures, scents, shapes, and spatial relationships between objects.
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Question 36 of 41
36. Question
36) I am able to stay present (for myself and others) in the face of intense emotions like grief, rage, and despair.
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Question 37 of 41
37. Question
37) I tend to physically feel the emotions of fear and anxiety of others in my own body — especially when others are unwilling or unable to admit to feeling them.
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Question 38 of 41
38. Question
38) I enjoy thinking about, searching for, and finding the perfect gifts for others.
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Question 39 of 41
39. Question
39) I regularly feel alongside others; I feel their emotions and share their concerns.
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Question 40 of 41
40. Question
40) I tend to approach problems tangibly, using my hands and my body as I think about and walk through the issues involved.
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Question 41 of 41
41. Question
41) I am deeply aware of the personal space of others.
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